Saturday, February 21, 2015

Two Shining Afternoons Outside of Time

They say the act of observing something inevitably changes the thing being observed. So, when I tell a story from my past, my past changes. The facts may not change, but my understanding of them does, and that understanding IS my past. The actions of my past take on the glow of my finer intentions, infused with my current desire to be regarded well. Other people fare better as well; my memory makes them funnier, more generous, more respectful.I don’t think this is kindness on my part. I think I need to believe I was in control, that good things were happening to me, that I was having a wonderful time.

The First Afternoon
So, in the spirit of that understanding, I am going back to a day more than thirty years ago. I was with my boyfriend, Eric, and his brother Jon and his brother's girlfriend Cheryl, who were visiting from Toronto. We left San Francisco in the early morning, traveled to Muir Woods and strolled through the thick needles under the giant redwoods, looked up at the dewdrops falling off the top needles and staggered around trying to catch them on our tongues. We drove down to Monterey and went to the aquarium and then ended the day on a sand dune in Carmel, looking out at the Pacific as the sun sank low. It was beautiful, and perfect, even at the time.

The guys decided that such a momentous occasion deserved a grand gesture, and so they serenaded us. They each dropped to one knee in front of us; Eric took my hand as Jon took Cheryl's, and they began making the most god-awful sounds, loud, tuneless bellows similar to that of a deranged sea-lion, if it were either bereft or very angry. Jon pitched his voice up into a nasal shriek; Eric barked, "Huhr! HuhhUHHRrrurrh!" Cheryl and I laughed helplessly and so they both doubled their efforts; and the volume, the weirdness and the sheer length of it made it funnier and funnier. Only when Cheryl and I assured them sincerely and forcefully that we were utterly swept off our feet did they stop. Eric straightened up and said with quiet dignity to the people around us, "That was a serenade. We were demonstrating our love and devotion," and Jon said, gravely, "You are welcome." 

We flopped down in the sand, watching the slanted sunlight bounce and glitter on the waves. Someone mentioned being thirsty, and we all bemoaned how completely dehydrated we were. "I am so thirsty," Eric said to me, showing me a handful of sand, "I could put this in my mouth, and I would derive moisture from it." 

We talked for a while longer, waiting for the sunset. Eric mentioned a novel - I think it was by John Fowles - in which a man experiences a moment with a woman and some friends that seems almost to stop in time. Years later, the character is no longer with the woman, but he remembers that perfect moment. Eric said, to us, "I think this is that moment for me."


The Second Afternoon
On a different day, Eric and I were walking along in San Francisco, when he suddenly pulled me into a flower shop. "Point at a flower," he said. I pointed at a tulip. "I would like to buy that flower for this woman," he said. The exchange was made, he handed me the flower and we walked out into the street. We kept singing The Girl from Ipanema, all day long. We walked to Crissy Field, called his brother Rod from a pay phone using a phone card and wished him a happy birthday. We got a drink at Vesuvio, and were walking back toward Eric's flat when we passed a large crowd that had collected around a street performer putting away a saxophone. "One more!" - they were cajoling the musician, a big, tall Black guy with a shy grin. "All right," he said, picked up his instrument and quickly ran a scale up and began playing The Girl from Ipanema. We snapped our heads to look at each other, and Eric said, "Will you marry me?" We laughed and walked off, with our arms around each other, walking up the hill toward home. 

It's impossible to reconcile those moments with my life now, and of course, they're not supposed to fit. Those are shining, golden afternoons outside of time. It was decades ago; Eric lives in Toronto.  I correspond with him every five years or so, but never much, and not in a sustained way. There's a part of me that is afraid somehow he'll find this and read it, and think it's pathetic for me to remember and make so much of a relationship that fell apart so long ago. But there's another part of me that needs to commemorate it, to cry for the beauty of it, to mourn the loss of the promise yet again - and then let a sigh and a quiet smile be enough.





Suhderz Eat Nuts

When the kids were barely talking, Paul was watching me clean out a butternut squash. He pointed at the seeds and asked, “Suhderz eat that?” I asked him to repeat himself a couple times, and then told him, “I’m sorry, honey; I don’t understand that word.”

Paul sighed, and then rallied himself and looked into my eyes with great intensity and said, firmly, “Suhderz eat nuts. Suhderz eat that?” “Oh, SQUIRRELS,” I said as Paul nodded happily.

So, Paul had linked the abstract concepts of seeds in a squash to nuts, made the association of nuts to squirrels, theorized that if squirrels eat nuts, they might eat seeds, but may not, and then found a way to help me understand the word his little toddler mouth couldn't form. 


Hello, Again

I've decided to start putting thoughts down in this forum. Of course, this used to be part of the MA program in Educational Technology, so the couple of you who may somehow be notified of this activity, feel free to bail if you want. On the other hand, if you want to stay, please do.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

A Tale of Two CEs - or "I Get By with a Little Help from my Cohort".


My final video and the story behind it...

LINK:A TALE OF TWO CEs -- MY FINAL VIDEO

As the deadline approached for our Culminating Experience proposal, I was a little confounded about how to approach the project. I had two ideas:

There were benefits and drawbacks for both.

Idea 1 – Integrating Technology into Second Grade
Benefits included a need for more study on tech in primary grades, access to a second grade classroom and the ease of setting up the study – I could clearly see how to write the proposal. The drawback was finding a way to get the time off work and do the implementation of the study.

Idea 2 – Mental Health Interventions for Older Adults with Cognitive Impairments: A Multi-Dimensional Curriculum
Benefits included a community need for determining effective means of training service providers, access to international experts and the convenience of being able to work on the curriculum at any time. The drawback was that I couldn’t figure out how to write the proposal – the project (as I had conceived it to that point) was project-based and consisted solely of creating the curriculum. There was no example of how to set up the proposal for a project structured in that way, and every time I thought I understood what I was doing, I found myself unable to even approach writing the proposal.

So I talked to my peers. On different occasions, I talked to Liz, Robert, Dana and Olga about my indecision. I also talked to Melissa, an iMet student in a different cohort. At some point, they all said the same thing – that it sounded like I wanted to do the Older Adult curriculum, but that I was hesitating to commit to it because of my confusion.

I decided to wade in. It took literally all day for each day of that weekend, but I found a way to write up the proposal for the curriculum. It was flawed, but I did it. And in the process, and upon receiving good advice from Dr. Jelinek, I distilled down my idea. What I ended up proposing was this:

An Evaluative Research on the Efficacy of an ELearning Instruction Module for Mental Health Interventions for Cognitive Impairment in Older Adults
I will develop an asynchronous online module based on the content of a webinar and then send that module out to former participants of the webinar for their evaluation. I’m going to triangulate that data with interviews with administrators and experts in the field and with my own observations. What I hope to establish whether this approach is a helpful resource for service providers or whether it would be a waste of resources to dedicate time, energy and funds to developing such modules.

I’m very happy to have progressed through to this point.

However, the story doesn’t quite stop there. When I first developed the storyboard for this assignment, I basically created a report of my project. Yet again stumped by confusion, I picked up the phone and called Liz at work. She reminded me of the real story of my CE – that period of time when I was so frustrated and indecisive. “Do that,” she suggested.

And so I have. “I get by with a little help from my friends…” (Please imagine the dulcet tones of Joe Cocker tailing off as the screen fades to black…)

Chapter 13 -- Know what you need and how to get it.

This chapter was full of really useful information for anyone interested in digital storytelling. I really appreciate that Ohler included a laundry list of useful equipment and programs. Somebody starting out with DST wouldn't necessarily think of the importance of having an audio editing program, for instance. This kind of resource is very valuable. (Ohler, position 2193, Digital Storytelling in the Classroom: New Media Pathways to Literacy, Learning and Creativity.)

Another thing that resonated with me is setting a search time budget. I've been tapped to research and purchase a piece of equipment for my work before and, unless you go in with some sense of how much time and effort you're going to put into it, there is just no end to it! Asking other people is the best way I've found to save myself a ridiculous amount of time.

Also, taking a little time to inventory your resources is a wise move. I was just about to buy a tripod for my camera at work when I suddenly thought to ask around. Yep, we had a tripod. Moreover, it was in perfect condition and had been bought with funds from my department. Who knew? :-D

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

My Project -- storyboard


LINK TO STORYBOARD

Here is my story core, story map and story board for my culminating experience project.

I enjoyed working on this, actually. It gave me a chance to reframe my CE project. This was a good thing, because I've changed it a little and creating this video helped me wrap my mind around the new direction I'm taking the project.

I created my storyboard by printing my PowerPoint to a pdf printer while selecting the notes format. I think this could be a really helpful way for me to organize video productions in the future, because it's relatively easy to throw just about anything into PowerPoint and it's so very accessible.

I had problems figuring out how to show a flash file on my blog, however, so this just has a link instead of a nice window where you can view it.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Video 3 - Vids of Kids

I had a different project going, but my star (Lottie) is sick yet again, which, beyond making me sad for her and fairly worried, has made me going with a different video. So, I'm providing a video on how to make videos that make parents happy.


This is not an example of how to make a video; there are tons of flaws in it. It just includes some helpful hints for how to please parents when making a video. Lots of people tape events and then never look at the footage again, because it's too long and unstructured and too much of it is bad and they don't know how to edit it, or they don't want to. If you can edit a piece, however flawed, and get it to the parents, they'll love it. As Ohler says, working with what you have is an important part of video production.