Star Trek Faint

In the early 90s, my friend Mark fell off his parents' roof while recording their family reunion. He was in a coma for months. That's a whole story by itself, but for today, I'm just going to capture one small part of it.

Mark's brother Pete had a girlfriend named Amy. As Mark lay in a coma, expected to die or never recover fully, Amy suddenly felt it was appropriate to tell everyone that she was "madly in love" with him - her boyfriend's identical twin. 

As she exited the hospital room after having seen Mark she ran gently but dramatically to a wall, flung her hands up it, turned and very slowly sank gracefully to the floor in a full-on Star Trek faint. (In Star Trek, the actors would always spin slowly and sink to the ground gently when stunned.)

Maggie was right behind her and saw it all.

She kept walking and stepped STRAIGHT OVER that attention-hungry bitch's head like she wasn't even there. The men rushed over to minister to her and Maggie just walked out, probably went and had a smoke. 

The beauty of it was that if Amy had truly fainted, she wouldn't know what Maggie had done. So, she couldn't call her out for it, or she'd have to admit she wasn't really gone. 

We reenacted that faint a hundred times: When faced with even the smallest possible problem, one of my friends or I would run gently to the wall, drape arms, sink down, and the others present would step over uncaringly. 

It was awesome.